j'ai le cafard

I don't know where that expression comes from - avoir le cafard. It's a way to say that you're down in the dumps, but I can't figure out how a cockroach fits in the picture. Last fall, I was pretty proud of the fact that I wasn't homesick. If you don't take in to account things like the mailbox, plumbing, rodents and mis-delivered mail, things went relatively smoothly. My colleagues at the school are wonderful, I've made great friends and I'm invited somewhere nearly every weekend. I saw folks from home all the time: Pat & Gary in Rouen, Bill & Susan in Poix, Mom & Mickey at La Toussaint, Alison for a belated Thanksgiving, Desa, Linda, & Charlotte for partnership work in early December, and Michael for winter break. Not to mention seeing Damien & Kathy whenever I want. Thanks to my unofficial couriers, I'm loaded up on books on Oklahoma, saline solution, vitamins, allergy medicine and socks. I've been so busy that I've often wished I had more time to myself. Strange then, just a few days after my latest visitor left, I find myself thinking of home. Maybe it's because Michael brought me updates on the goings-on in the 405. Maybe because the holidays have come and gone. Or it could be that I'm nearly half-way through the year and since it's now 2008, I find myself worrying about things I have to do next August when I get home. Or maybe because it's cold and gets dark here at 5pm.

So, to combat les blues that have finally hit, I'm going to make a list of things I *don't* miss.

• Getting up at 5:15
• Driving to work
• Working 9-10 hours a day, five days a week
• Being over booked
• Committee meetings
• Mowing the lawn (though it would be nice if someone would mow the one here)
• Wal-Mart and all the anxiety it produces in me
• Traffic
• Fast food
• Bad food
• Frozen food
• Fried food
• Expensive wine & cheese (probably the only things that are cheaper here)

People ask me all the time about the things I *do* miss.

• My house
• My kitties
• My kiddos
• My family and friends (I miss Emelyn & Eric so much they deserve special mention)
• My annual holiday extravaganza - first time in something like 10 years that we haven't done it. :(
• Target
• Mexican food
  
• Low, affordable prices. Seriously, can we talk about the exchange rate?!
• Being able to be myself and say everything that I want to with ease. My sense of humor is difficult to translate. I consider it a huge success when I make someone laugh.
  

To try to get out of the funk that listing these things has brought upon me, I must write about the things that I *love* about living in France:

• Walking to work. Walking by a 16th Century church on my way to just about anywhere in town.
  
• Speaking French and learning new things every day.
• Discovering cultural secrets.
• The cheese, especially of the bleu variety. Surprised? I was too.
• The food. Most of it, anyway. I personally think that andouillette looks and tastes like poo. Never again. Sorry, M.
• The people. Seriously so nice.
  
• The colors of the cars. The cars themselves for that matter. Wish I could take a C3 Pluriel home with me.
  
• Train travel.
• Taking time to cook. Trying new recipes. Following the directions in French and producing something edible.
• Watching French TV or movies and not wishing I had subtitles. Most of the time, anyway. I couldn't do this when I got here.
  
• Amazingly pothole free roads, even if the tolls are crazy-expensive.
• The self-confidence I feel driving around France. Except when I get lost, which until recently was rare.
  
• People greet you when you enter a store, and say goodbye when you exit. La politesse.
• You can't throw a baguette without hitting a castle, church or historical site.

So don't you worry about me. I'll pull out of this blue funk (which incidentally is the color of the bruise on my rear) and things will be fine. I know that come July, I'll be blue for a different reason altogether - I'll have to say goodbye.