Well, it's finally official. I'm coming home. Can you hear my enthusiasm? It's pretty muted at the moment. I refuse to believe that I'm nearly out of time here. Don't get me wrong, I miss you all terribly and can't wait for the big party I know you're planning, but...well...I live in France you see, and I love it. But because the Commission has to have time to process my stipend, I felt pressured to buy my return ticket sooner rather than later. It was easy to make excuses when I didn't have a computer. I'll do it eventually, I thought. As if putting it off would extend my stay.
In our contract, Nathalie and I agreed on July 31st as the switch-back date, and I'm honoring our chosen date. Besides, I promised Emelyn I'd be home for her 8th birthday on August 1st. And I want her to know that her Tatie keeps her promises. She will have to understand, however, that I won't have much room in my overflowing suitcases for her birthday present. Unless she'd like a set of Lagioule knives or un moule à madeleines.
I ended up buying a ticket on a French website, and when I clicked valider, a wave of nausea washed over me. Not because the ticket was hors de prix - believe me, it was more than I'd ever consider paying for a round-trip ticket - but because everything became so real to me. Time is slipping away. I refuse to count the number of weekends I have left, or the number of days for that matter. I prefer to follow the advice of a parent I met a couple of weeks ago, who told me "it's not the end until the last day."
2 comments:
I know you are sad, but think of how happy we will all be to see you. In the words of Nick (at 3 years), "Please don't bees sad (mad), we (he) love you so!" Pretty silly, but it's true! Everyone at Cinco de Mayo asked about you and missed your smiling face! - Mary
Ditto Mary's comments. Your smiling face and your laugh. We miss you terribly. It's not the same without you. Believe me, I have been blue for you many times, but I know what this year has meant to you. Party?
Love, Mom
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